Everything is said and not a word is spoken

If it's hard enough getting most grown-ups to get their annual medical check-up for fear of getting a needle, try the process with 40-odd kids all under 16.
So, on a hot, humid Sunday morning in a community shed 240 kilometres south of Darwin, I find myself helping set up a four-metre high jumping castle, complete with water slides, tunnels, bridges and an all-weather sound system that puts most home stereos to shame.
The jumping castle is the latest strategy in getting families along to the Government's Children's Health Checks, and provide some reward (along with, literally, a free lunch) for kids who'll spend an hour getting poked, prodded and jabbed by a team of six medical staff.
Of course, you can't actually show the kids the jumping castle before they get checked - unless you want a community health report that shows everyone under 16 having a resting heart rate of 180 - so it's left to me to explain to each and every kid about what's waiting in store.
As you can see from the image above, my sales skills obviously need some work. While the little girl laps up my spiel with visible excitement, her older and very protective brother is somewhat more reserved, telling me without saying a word that I'd better not be bullsh-tting.